I just happened to fall even more in love with God. I know when i get back to school i'll just get depressed again and start living a normal everyday life, but i just wanna keep God in that life. He's above all the things i do, see, say, love, hear, live. EVERYTHING seriously! NY was awesome, something in me kinda CLICKED to start living my life for God, but i know it's not easy. I want to live for God and only God. i want to serve Him everyday. when i flew back i experienced love for my own country FINLAND! i think it was probably the first time in my life i experienced that. i think the relief bus was awesome. i've always thought that i'm a bad christian cos i suck at evangelising, but i think that just because i'm not always in everyones face, telling them about GOD don't make me a bad christian. actually i realized that me being a christian doesn't even matter, cos christians belong to a religion, right? and religion kills, Jesus saves! i don't want to be a christian, i want to be God's LOVER! and the fact that i'm not in peoples faces bout Jesus is alright. I just have to LOVELOVELOVE! and i love to love in my own way. i loved serving soup, just doing something so simple, even smiling to brighten everyones day. I love to donate blood (that again in 4weeks!!) something for the good of others. I know Jesus says that go and make the world my diciples, but i'm bad at talking, and i know when i HAVE to talk, when Jesus wants that. then He'll give me the words. He's promised that. God's got a way bigger heart than mine, so i trust that He'll always fill my heart with His love, so i can freely love everyone. i even want to try to love my enemies. i'm actually starting to break free of all my chains. i think my trip to NY really was an eyeopener! and i really believe it was God's will i went there, even tho it was SUPER spontaneous. who know what i would have done with my vacation, if i hadn't gone to NY...
